Jacob
I've been thinking a lot about Jacob and his life. Jacob wrestled with God. Jacob is a striver; he wanted to be more than he was. But God was going to bring him into his destiny; he didn't have to try to do it without God's help.
How often do we struggle, fight and wrestle because we want to be in control? Do we trust God enough to know that he will get us to our final destination? What are we striving for? What do we fight? What holds us back from being at peace with God? Is it pride; are you determined to be right? Is it fear; do you really know God's goodness? (My answer to both of those is yes. I'm not at peace with God; deep inside I struggle and fight, as he molds me.) It's good to never be satisfied but if God says, "Stop and rest awhile," lets stop and rest. Let's have tenacity but let it be driven and directed by God. Let him take the steering wheel of you life.
Another thing that's really been on my mind and I cannot leave this post without mentioning it. "What does it look like?" I want to know how to apply these things and what it looks like in real life not with great words or a hyped-up crowd. What does healthy striving look like? What does it mean to let God take the steering heel of your life?
Dose this mean dying to self? Giving up our hopes, desires, and dreams? Does it mean making a conscious decision to watch out thoughts, actions, and words? Jacob was a striver what did he learn and what can we learn from him?
You tell me.
Not Quite there
This post is contains some bits from three different songs by Jason Upton (Jacob's Dream, Psalm 23,and In the Silence from his CD Jacob's dream) these songs really describe where I'm at right now.
(I'm) Tired of telling you, you have me
When I know you really don't
(I'm) Tired of telling you I'll follow
When I know I really won't
Cause I'd rather stand here speechless
With no great words to say
If my silence is more truthful
And my ears can hear how to walk in your way
So tell Me Jacob when will the lying end?
And does the striving make you strong?
Because when I came to love on you
You fought me till the dawn
Jacob had a dream for all the ages
Jacob had a drive to build a nation
But the fighting is in vain
If your only aim is to build your own great name
© 2002 Jason Upton & Key of David Ministries.
Ram-bull
I moved last weekend which was quite an adventure. My sister came over from Langley to help me clean. She's such a peach!
I'm really mixed up right now. I know God is challenging me. Everywhere I look I see challenge, God calling me to come up higher. I feel God drawing me deeper and deeper to himself. It's 'dark yet lovely' there is so much death, but so much life. I feel challenged in the words I speak. I don't want to speak just some empty words that hold no meaning. When I speak I want it to be out of love for Jesus and those around me, not selfish desire to put my two cents in. I feel challenged in my actions and how I relate to people. I don't want to do what is comfortable, but what is Holy, pure and pleasing to the Lord. Death is beautiful, but only because of the life that comes afterward. If there was no life after spiritual death there would be no point in dying. So I die more and more everyday. I love this verse:
Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:16-17
I turn to look at all that I 'should' be doing on earth and I am completely overwhelmed. I look at God's eternal purpose and plan and I am completely secure that he's got it all under control. See we are not on our own schedule but God's, if he has you in the desert right now, enjoy your time there. If you are on the mountain top enjoy your time there. Look at what God wants you to do today and he will lead you into tomorrow and next week, next year. Surrender whatever it is you're struggling with for nothing is too big for God.
Here We Are
So, What was I thinking when I decided to do a blog? I really don't know it just kinda happened. Anyway here I am and there you are so... I don't know.
My Church is putting on a musical this year for our Children's Christmas play. This will be the first time our church has ever done anything this big, but even though there is a lot of work looming over us we're really excited to be a part of What God is going to do.
I've really been feeling lately that this is a season of new beginnings in my own life but I also see new beginnings everywhere I look. I love the seasons of life, every one is precious and has it's ups and downs. I can see in my life where God is calling me to a higher standard. He's telling not to get weary with doing good, but it's time to perceiver.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
I remember this last summer on our youth outreach on our fun day we climbed a mountain. I had the choice to go for a walk or climb the mountain, I choose the mountain. I didn't even get a quarter way up and I realized that I couldn't do it. I was so upset and felt like a complete failure as I made my way down the mountain. That mountain is like so many that I face in my spiritual life. Sometimes I ask myself, "Which mountain should I climb?" Should I climb the mountain of fear in my life, and defeat it, or should I go for the mountain of pride? The challenge kills me but that's the whole point.
Go up the mountain of the Lord; have an adventure, explore life and experience it -
Peace In
Moving Heavenly Furniture
God is on the move...
What are you going to do?
I'm going to find out where he's moving, I want to know and feel his heart.
I'm going to find out what my part is and ask for the grace to be bold.
I'm going to pray, seek and knock cuz I don't want to be left out.
What does this look like? How can I know God more in my life and move into the destiny that He has for me? I am nothing God so help me drop the pride, get on my face before you and find out what really matters in this life for the next.
